I Still Can't Forget About You
by XXXREALXXX
Summary: I'm HInamori Amu and I'm still in love with the person who broke his promise. It started in fifth grade where I realized I loved him and before I knew it he disappeared from my world. - Told in Amu's point of view AMUTO
1. I'm stupid

I'm in fifth grade right now and to be honest I'm in love with my best friend. It's stupid right? I'm in fifth grade and I'm in 'love.' Most people think it's quite amusing that a fifth grader like me is in love and they think that it will go away quickly but they're wrong. I can't fall out of love; it's impossible. My best friend is Tsukiyomi Ikuto and I'm in love with him.

"Amu." Ikuto called my name. Then he poked me like he always did. Then I'd poke him back, I guess you can say that we're in a 'poke war.'

"Ikuto, you know I'm going to win this right?" I said.

"No way I won the last one!" He stated.

"No you didn't, I did. You know the rules, the one who doesn't poke the other back for more than a day loses!" I exclaimed not agreeing with his lie.

"Fine whatever but I'll win this one!" He declared.

"Amu whatcha doing?" My other best friend yaya asked.

"Nothing just having another poke war with this idiot." I pointed at Ikuto. We both laughed as he got mad.

"Idiot?!" He said.

"Yes idiot you cat." Yaya said sticking her tongue out at him.

We were outside during lunch, we always go to the royal garden. Me, Ikuto, Yaya, and my other best friend Utau. We were s group. Nothing could separate us.

Then I saw Utau running over. "Utau!" I called.

"Hey Amu." Utau responded.

Utau and I had been in the same class for two years. We tell everything to one one another. Secrets, crushes, and sometimes gossip. But then again Utau hasn't told me her crush yet.

"Ikuto you idiot! Why did you come over to my house yesterday? My uncle thought you were my boyfriend." She said. Those words made me tense but I pretended like it didn't effect me at all.

"My bad." He said running away from her who was now chasing him around.

"Utau-chi got mad!" Yaya said.

I laughed at them. It was really funny, they're always like this.

"Are you guys free for the summer? School is almost ending." I said. Ikuto and Utau looked my way and stopped chasing each other.

"I have to tell you all something but not now." Ikuto said quietly. I looked at him, his hair was covering his eyes. "I'm going to announce it to the whole class next period." What could it be?

"Ah and Amu I have to tell you something to. Can you and I stay behind?" Utau asked.

I tilted my head. "Sure."

When the bell rang Utau and I stayed behind.

"What is it Utau?" I asked.

"Don't get mad at me okay?" I nodded.

"I like Ikuto." My eyes widened at her confession. She likes Ikuto?

"What?"

"I liked him for a while now."

I froze. It can't be right? My best friend likes the boy I like?

"I'm sorry but can you give me some time to process this?" I whispered. Her arms were stretched out towards me, trying to grab me but I fled. When we came back in the room it was the worst thing ever.

"Everyone listen up! Ikuto has something to say." Our teacher Nikaido-sensei said. Our attention was now on Ikuto as he got up.

"I'm leaving for Europe because my dad is sick." He said.

I didn't know what to do. I was like a statue; unable to move, unable to speak. Everyone crowded around him telling him not to go but they knew he had to. I didn't want him to go, I want him to stay.

"I'm going to be back in a few weeks just in time for graduation."

Graduation? Right we're graduating soon. I don't want to graduate, I want to remain this way forever, I don't want you to go! I don't want to go to separate middle schools. Before I knew it I felt tears strolling down my face. I quickly wiped it away, I did not want people looking at me in tears. That's when I saw Ikuto walking over to me showing me a sad smile.

"I'll be back in a few weeks, and we'll graduate together okay? Promise." He said. I nodded and then it just came out. Tears we're flowing down my cheeks and the class stared at me not knowing what to do. Yaya got up and took me to the bathroom where I cried on her shoulder. She knew I loved him and hugged me silently stroking my back. I can't. I can't! I want to tell him but I can't. When I came back the whole class stared at me including Utau. I didn't look at anyone and stared down. I didn't want to see their faces especially not them, it is too sad for me to bear.

When classes were over I ran out of them room and to my house. I locked my bedroom shut and cried into my pillow. I'm pathetic aren't I? I can't tell the one I love that I love him, I ran away when my best friend opened up to me, and all I could do is cry. I wished for all of this to be a bad dream but it wan't, God has given me another surprise. The next day Ikuto was gone. I didn't cry, because I just couldn't. I felt like an empty shell. I didn't get the chance to say goodbye and before I knew it he was gone. Yet I still longed for him everyday to come back but he didn't. I planned to confess to him on the last day of school but he didn't show. He didn't show up for graduation, he didn't show up for prom, he wasn't here. He broke his promise.


	2. I Live A Lie

I'm in sixth grade now and I now have a boyfriend. His name is Sanjou Kairi. We were good buddies and got along just fine, then he asked me out. It was mid May when he did and ever since then we weren't friends we were a couple. The whole school knew about it because I guess that's how middle school works; their bored and have nothing else to do but get into people's business and spread it around. My best friend Yaya congratulated me and hugged me when it happened because she was the first one I told. Or maybe I shouldn't have told her she's a bit... like a blabber mouth but it doesn't matter.

"Hinamori-san here." He handed me a drink.

"You know you can call me Amu. We're now dating and we're close." I said taking the drink from him.

"Right... Amu." He said while blushing and pushing his glasses up. I smiled, he always had that habit of pushing up his glasses.

"Come on let's go." I said grabbing his hand, dragging him towards the park.

I went on the swings as he pushed me. It's been three months since we dated and it's now August. I giggled when he pushed me high up and he laughed with me too. I thought that we were going to a good couple until he had to ruin it.

"Can we go on a date today Kairi?" I asked over the phone.

"I'm sorry we can't. I have family issues to deal with at home." He said genuinely dismayed.

"It's alright we can go another time." I said to make him feel less guilty.

"Yeah." He said. "I have to go. Bye."

"Bye." I hung up. I laid straight down on my bed staring up at the ceiling. I guess I'll go to the Amusement park alone, I stared at the two pair of tickets in my hand as I got up. I went over to my closet and picked out something to wear. I wore a uniform-like outfit with a tie, rolled up sleeves, a grey skirt, a silver belt, and boots. The tie and the belt are loose so it will look trendy. On my left side there were small pins, which are for accessories only. Her tie and socks are both blue. My socks went up to my lower thigh portion. The skirt was very short and my boots had black strings, which goes from the heels to the bottom part of my knees. I liked this outfit the most because it made me look a bit tomboyish.

I headed out in no time and arrived at the amusement park. I gave the lady my ticket and walked around until I decided to go to the food court. I bought myself a soda and was about to walk away until I saw something really familiar. Was that Yaya? And the person next to her, Kairi? What is going on? They were sitting in the chairs with food in front of them having a good time. His arm was around her shoulder and that made them look like a couple.

Then Yaya spotted me when I dropped my drink. "Amu-chi!" She yelled going towards me but I backed away.

"Why does everybody have to betray me?" I whispered as hot tears dropped. My eyes were now watering and tears were rushing down my face one by one. Kairi got up and tried to apologized.

"Don't. I get it, you guys are together now I hope... you guys are happy together." I said with my voice cracking near the end. I ran to God know's where until I bumped into someone. I dared to look up and let this stranger see my face.

"Amu?" The voice asked. I looked up to the familiar voice I once heard in fifth grade and was shocked.

"Ik..to?" I said not believing he was in front of me right now. I had forced myself I to forget about him but I couldn't. I thought about him everyday and yet I still dated Kairi. Is that why he cheated on me? Because he knew the I didn't like him fully?

"Why are you crying?" He asked wiping the tears from my face. I didn't respond.

"I don't have to tell you anything you liar." I quietly whispered. But unfortunately he caught that. Those cat ears of his.

He was quiet but then looked down at me. By look down I mean he literally looked down at me. He has gotten so tall and yet I'm still this short.

"I'll explain to you why I hadn't come that day of graduation but for now we're going to have fun." He declared.

"Huh?"'

"We're going on that!" He pointed on the roller coaster. I swallowed hard, roller... coaster? But he knows I have motion sickness!

"Ikuto I have motion sickness." I said while he was dragging me towards the line.

"Then we'll get you a barf bag." He simply said.

"I don't really want to throw up today." He looked at me and then smiled.

"Then what do you want to go on princess?"

I looked around until I saw something that caught my eye. The carousal! My family and I used to come here and ride the Merry Go Round, it was my little sister Ami and me on one horse and my parents taking pictures.

"Ah so you want to go ride the horse." He said noticing me staring at it. He grabbed my hand, gave the man our tickets and then we both rode on one together.

"Ikuto... this is embarrassing! Please go ride a separate horse." My face was red and I felt like I was going to fall down.

"No way a princess always needs a prince." He said seductively in my ear.

My body tingled then I felt like I was falling.

"Wah!" I shouted. Then I felt that someone had grabbed my waist, preventing me from falling on my face. I looked up and of course I saw Ikuto. I stared into his midnight blue eyes and he stared into my honey ones. I felt like we were in a fairy tale. Please let this be real. The Tsukuyomi Ikuto that I love is now right in front of me. I don't want this to be a lie.


	3. It's Confusing

_My mind is tangled and words cannot be spoken. He came back and my heart is all over the place. Why did he have to come back so suddenly when I finally decided to block him out of my world after a year of heart break? All of these feelings that I left behind is rushing back, creeping behind me waiting for me to let my guard down. Why does a girl's heart have to fell this way? Uncertain, hopeless, unable to understand what to do? Or is it just me who can't make out her own feelings? Falling out of love isn't easy, it took me a long time to get over him; crying every night, putting on a smile to cover what I'm feeling right now. And yet... why is it so easy for me to let him back in?_

I walked to school with my back hunched sulking over such a stupid matter. If you don't want to love him then don't! I yelled these idiotic thoughts throughout my mind and the answer was so obvious. It wasn't easy, that was the answer which I got. It's not easy to fall in love and fall out of it. While I was walking to school I saw the whole previous sixth graders huddled around the main board. Of course they were, on that board was where everyone could see which class they're in. I walked up to it and saw my placement. It wasn't the best but at least I improved; I went up one class. When I was about to leave the board a name caught my eye. Hotori Tadase. He is the popular kid in the school and he was in my class last year. He was always surrounded by people while I just stuck with Yaya. He had gone up four classes, as expected for the king. He never fails his people in getting smarter, though he did talk to me sometimes trying to break through my shell but I never opened up. I stayed beside Yaya the whole sixth grade thinking that I could only trust her and nobody else. But I was wrong when I saw her and my now ex-boyfriend together, I was wrong to trust anybody. Everybody in the world are monsters who you can not put faith in. Being alone is better, I don't need anyone but myself and my shell. Yeah it's better this way so I can never be opened again.

I walked to my homeroom class and saw Hotori along the way.

"Hey Hinamori-san." He greeted, waving happily to me with a smile. Why smile for me when I treat you so badly? You idiot. I passed by him ignoring him and continued walking to my homeroom leaving him speechless.

When I arrived there I ignored everyone and pulled up the chair farthest from anyone so no one would bother me. I cupped my face and stared out the window, what a boring day. The sky was baby blue and the clouds were scattered around the sky moving slowly. I blocked out all the noise and focused my attention on the sky.

"Hey! You!" I heard a voice invading my mind. I turned around to see a girl with red locks. I stared up at her who was hovering over me. I didn't speak because I didn't want to and just talked with my eyes. What do you want?

She scoffed at me. "What? Can't you talk?" I can talk, I don't want to talk to you. And even if I didn't would you use this tone on those who actually can't? I rolled my eyes and looked out the window like I previously did.

"Hey!" She shouted now everyone looking at us. Great now look what you've done.

"What do you want?" I asked still not looking at her.

"You're weird." She said looking at me, disgusted. I turned my direction towards her and jumped when she saw me glaring.

"So what? Is being weird a bad thing? At least I'm not like a snobby person like you." I said looking straight into her eyes. She gave me a shocked look thinking that I must be crazy. I sighed. "If that's all you want then please leave." I said shooing her away.

She looked up at the ceiling and then at me giving me a nasty look, not believing what just happened and stomped away. People in the classroom looked at me staring at me in a daze, I looked away and ignored the whispers going around.

"Did she just do that?"

"Who is she?"

"Isn't she going to get targeted by Saaya's followers."

"Cool and spicy!"

I didn't make a friend that day and I didn't intend to. I walked home alone and empty. I'm fine being alone, I'm not lonely at all. It's better to be alone than be with people because you never know who's going to stab you in the back. And even if they don't, they will leave your side one day and make you feel lonely. You're better off being alone where no one can hurt you or make you waver. I'm strong like that, I don't need anyone supporting me like Yaya did or Utau did.

Then I felt myself crying, tears rapidly flowing down my cheeks as I stained the sidewalk with my tiny little droplets of my sadness. I crouched down, now with my feet trying to support the weight of my body. I wrapped my arms around my knees as I cried there with no one around me to comfort me. That's what I get for choosing to be alone right? That means crying alone, eating alone, no one to talk to. Soon my cries turned to sobs as I heard someone run up to me calling my name. The person leaned down asking frantically if I was okay. I felt myself swaying and then collapsing in their arms. This is bad, why do I feel so safe in this person's arms? The one who noticed me and came to save me. I'm happier being alone and yet why does it that I feel at home in your arms? Who are you I want to know... and then I felt my body shut down, losing consciousness unable to see the person who rescued me from a world of darkness.


	4. What Do You Wish For?

_What can I do? I am a girl who is indecisive, who can't make up her mind. I am not good; but I can't do bad. I hate what I've become; pitiful. I hate the person who did this to me. His midnight blue eyes, his blue hair, the way he stares at me. I hate it all. And yet I still want him in my world, but I know I can't.  
_

I woke up in my bed and rolled over with my blankets wrapped around me. Ugh mornings.

"Young mistress, are you feeling alright?" I heard a female voice ask. I peeked through the bed sheets and saw one of the maids.

"Yeah, thanks." I responded. Then I shot up when I realized what day it was. "School!"

"You need your rest, after all you did faint yesterday" She said poring me tea on top of the silver cart.

"Faint?" I repeated now fully awake.

"Yes. A nice boy brought you here, I believe his name was Hotori Tadase." She said handing me the cup of tea.

"He brought me home?"

She nodded at me and then dismissing herself. "The madame wants you to stay home and rest." She said bowing at me and then rolling the cart out.

He brought me back? This is so embarrassing! He saw me cry and break down. What should I do? Should I ask my mom if I can be home schooled? What time is it anyway? I looked at my nightstand which had my digital clock on it. 3:00PM. They must be out of school already. What should I do? Maybe I should go room to room of this mansion. If you haven't guessed yet I am from a wealthy family. My mother is a magazine editor and creator and my father takes photos of models. Our family contains four people, my mom, my dad, my little sister, and me. We live in a mansion and of course we have maids. butlers, and chiefs. Our home is located in a far away place from school, but then why was Hotori walking the same way?

I got out of bed revealing my light pink lace nightgown and walked around my room. It was big, too big. Why do I need so much space it's not like I'll do anything. In my room there was a dark purple king sized bed with white dome mosquito nets ceiling, it's own bathroom, a full length couch, a flat screen t.v, and a book shelf full of my favorite novels. My room had everything I needed and I couldn't ask for more. I went into my bathroom and did all the basic necessities. Brushing my teeth, taking a bath, washing my face, and brushed my hair that was just passed my shoulders.

I walked out and was greeted by a knock on my door.

"Come in." I said assuming it was one of the maids giving me breakfast.

"Young mistress you have a guest." She said bowing. A guest.

"Hey Hinamori." The male voice said. "I came to see if you were alright."

My mouth resembled an 'o' when the person showed them self in front of me.

"I'm fine, please leave now Hotori." I said coldly not glad to see him at all.

"You have a nice place, I didn't know you were a princess." He said ignoring me and let himself into my room.

"Please make yourself comfortable." The maid said as she shut the door. No! Don't leave me alone with him!

"What do you want? A reward? Money?" I asked glaring at him with my arms folded.

"No not at all, but a reward does sound nice." He said scanning my bedroom.

"What? Name it, I'll give it to you. But after I do leave and never come back here again."

"That's harsh Hinamori."

"What do you want." I demanded being inpatient.

"I want to know more about you." He said looking at me straight in the eye.

I stood silent. Why would he want to know more about me?

"Can't you see for yourself? My family is rich, I have two loving parents and a little sister, and a mansion." I said. I wasn't lying everything I said is true, I just wasn't telling the whole truth.

"I meant you, not your family. I can't believe that someone's life is this perfect, you must have some problems." He said back. I stared blankly at him.

"You're right. I do have some problems here and there but I am not willing to tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you wouldn't understand. I don't need your pity." I retorted looking at him sternly.

We stared at each other, not moving, just trying to read each other's mind. But I won't let him, I won't let anyone read my heart because I think I'll break if they do.

"Fine." He sighed. "Then meet me at the train station at 12:00 tomorrow." He smiled at me.

"Why?"

"You did say you'll give me whatever I want. This is what I want." He said. "See you tomorrow." He waved goodbye and left my room.

What?! I didn't agree to this yet! Don't expect to me come Hotori.

**The next day**

Of course I came... I face palmed my self mentally and then sunk my head down. Why did I come? Well you couldn't just keep him waiting. Damn my conscience. I was wearing a purple and white stripped under shirt that had no collar and began just under my shoulders. Over top of this I wore a white top that has a strap around my neck. The top also had a black ribbon tied at the center and black frills at the arms. While wearing this outfit I often would wear a black belt with my hair tied up.

"Hinamori-san! You came!" He exclaimed running over towards me.

"Yeah." I said motionlessly. "Where are we going anyway?"

He placed his index finger against his lips. "Secret." He said winking at me. My heart fluttered a bit. "But know it's a date." He grabbed my hand and entwined it with mine. We were now holding hands.

DATE?!


End file.
